In order to write this review I first had to find the address for a computer technician to fix my keyboard. I needed to go old school and use an actual phone book as my computer was out of order of course. Sadly, the only phone book in the area was up on the balcony of a third floor apartment. No one was home, so I had to mug a fireman and take his ladder. In order to mug this fireman, I had to first secure a hefty wooden tree branch for use as a makeshift club. This meant I had to distract the squirrel on the branch since I did not want to hurt him. To do this, I had to find my nuts.
Okay, so I did not actually have to do any of that, but if that was tough for you to read just stop right now and do not play this game. Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper is an old school adventure game. I am talking Myst adventure games here. Originally a PC Game in the U.K., now a 360 game here in the States (as well as the U.K.), Sherlock Holmes versus Jack the Ripper is an acquired taste.
Plot
You play as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, attempting to solve the infamous Jack the Ripper murders that took London by storm in 1888. The world's first sensationalized serial killer (Jack the Ripper stirred up media interest like no one's business) was never actually caught, making this an excellent case for Sherlock Holmes. The game, surprisingly, uses the actual timeline, locations and suspects of the Jack the Ripper murders. By playing this game, you will know the actual history of the Jack the Ripper murders.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - LEARNED SOMETHING FROM A VIDEO GAME
Gameplay
Unlike the PC version, you can play in either a first or third person perspective. Third is easier to get around the drab rooms and corridors of 19th century London, but first makes it much easier to grab clues and items. Which you will be doing. A lot. The same scenario plays out over and over again. Sherlock and Watson will be in the office and then will get a clue. You rush off as one of the Dynamic Duo to investigate the clue but in doing so, must go on the sort of subquest hell not seen since Breath of Fire 2.
The solutions to most of the puzzles are quite logical. So logical in fact that I found myself missing an important clue right in front of my face. A few will most likely, require a guide, despite having one by my side I actually enjoyed figuring some of them out on my own. I know! this day and age, someone taking the time to figure out logic puzzles! Go figure.
Control
The controls will make a few of those puzzles significantly harder then they should be as this was originally a PC game, a mouse and keyboard is clearly the control scheme this was designed to use in the first place. Finding the right pixel can reach annoyance levels akin to finding the loose brick in the dungeon of Maniac Mansion.
Combining items in your inventory and flipping between menu screens is a bit convoluted, but you get used to it. There is a term for control schemes like this...Stockholm Syndrome.
Graphics
Horrible. Good thing you are not playing this for them.
Sound and Music
The voice acting is spot on and did not drive me to the brink of insanity. With the amount of British accents present, you would think it would be incredible grating and over the top, but no, the voice work actually enhances the story. Nuances can be picked up if you actually stop and listen to the plot advancing, one suspect at a time.
Music is nearly non-existent but the ambient noise is not intrusive either, so given the excellent voice work, we will just call this one a wash.
Achievements
With a guide, this is one of the fastest 1k's available. Only 4 achievements are miss-able and the rest you will earn naturally by finishing the story.
Conclusion
Well, the graphics are horrendous and the control will make you scream before you submit and accept it as your master, but to be brutally honest?
I found the game to actually be fairly amusing.
Granted, that is almost entirely because of the historical accuracy on display throughout the entire game and my own background in History. The old-school adventure gameplay is also charming once you realize exactly what it is you are getting yourself into with this game. Sherlock Holmes versus Jack the Ripper is such an acquired taste that I can not recommend this for everyone.
If the thought of old school adventure in a historical setting sounds remotely appealing to you, then grab this one on the cheap and have a fun weekend.
If the thought of having to read while playing a game confuses you, then stay away.
Showing posts with label Review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Review. Show all posts
Monday, August 9, 2010
(TrueAchievements Repost): Alan Wake Review
Alan Wake is a very tough game to review. The major draw for this game is the storyline, which stands head and shoulders above most other 360 games. The influences of Stephen King and David Lynch are felt all throughout the game, in particular, the closing music of Episode 1 which is straight out of David Lynch's Blue Velvet, starring the late, great Dennis Hopper. Ultimately, as with the work of David Lynch, everyone will walk away with a different experience from Alan Wake.
Gameplay
The theme of light and dark is taken quite literally when it comes time to actually play the game. Using a flashlight, you have to remove protective layers of darkness before opening fire with a trusty sidearm. I for one, never got bored of this, not once environmental hazards such as loose power lines and red exploding barrels were introduced. The cast of enemies is very, very small and the constant need to shine light first, shoot second could get old for some people very, very quickly.
When you are not shining light on the denizens of darkness you are engaging in some very light puzzle solving. This is basic "hit a switch" puzzling and only serves to break up the gunplay. Vehicle sections also break up the action but they work nicely into the plot and when they do pop up, are a welcome diversion.
A major problem with the puzzle solving, running and gunning gameplay however is that at all times you are reminded Alan Wake is a video game. The ever present HUD always shows you where to go and as a result, the tension level is not as high as it could be had the game been HUDless. The option to turn it off does not exist.
Graphics
It is painfully obvious that the majority of the graphical horsepower went to the lighting effects. The lighting is amazing, easily the best I have ever seen. The character models on the other hand would not be out of place in a PS2 game. Do yourself a favor, and when characters are talking, try not to look at their mouths.
They did manage to make Alan's wife appear to be wearing painted on jeans, so that is a plus.
Controls
Clunky is a nice way to put it. The game demands tight control while playing on Nightmare difficulty but it will fight you. Alan turns slowly and the aiming can be very awkward, both with your flashlight and a gun. Alan is not a space marine, he is a writer, but moving *that* slow is just annoying.
Sound and Music
Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick is the soundtrack for this game amazing. Every chapter ends just as television episode would, with a closing song that accurately captures the mood. The song choice at the end of Chapter 1 is what hooked me, but it was one sequence during Chapter 4 that had the best dichotomy of music to in game action that I have witnessed in years. In fact, that moment gets its very own call out.
The Moment
Every game, no matter what genre or platform, has The Moment. That One Thing which happens and makes you sit up and go "DAMN!" Final Fantasy 7, with the murder of Aeris, is perhaps the easiest example to recognize. Alan Wake, towards the end of Chapter 4 as you're approaching an old, decrepit stage in the middle of a field....it has one of those moments. Gameplay and music meld and make you feel like you are an unstoppable force of destruction.
Achievements
Some of the collectibles in this game, such as the manuscript pages, tv shows and radio shows reveal bits about the world of Alan Wake and are worth your time to collect. TV shows, especially those that are showing "Night Springs", think The Twilight Zone, are really cool. A guide is recommended if you want all the achievements, and a second play through is mandatory, but if you skip the story completely it is a quick game.
Conclusion
Gameplay is fun and different but not for everyone as it can get old quick if the plot does not grab you around the neck like Andre the Giant. Music is amazing and an example of the right way to work it into a game. The abundance of collectibles can be daunting for achievement seekers but the real issue comes from the horrible character models and clunky controls.
The very best part of the game can not be mentioned, as that is the plot. If you are looking for something different, Alan Wake is an unique experience. It may just last you a weekend, but like a good book, you will go cover to cover.
Gameplay
The theme of light and dark is taken quite literally when it comes time to actually play the game. Using a flashlight, you have to remove protective layers of darkness before opening fire with a trusty sidearm. I for one, never got bored of this, not once environmental hazards such as loose power lines and red exploding barrels were introduced. The cast of enemies is very, very small and the constant need to shine light first, shoot second could get old for some people very, very quickly.
When you are not shining light on the denizens of darkness you are engaging in some very light puzzle solving. This is basic "hit a switch" puzzling and only serves to break up the gunplay. Vehicle sections also break up the action but they work nicely into the plot and when they do pop up, are a welcome diversion.
A major problem with the puzzle solving, running and gunning gameplay however is that at all times you are reminded Alan Wake is a video game. The ever present HUD always shows you where to go and as a result, the tension level is not as high as it could be had the game been HUDless. The option to turn it off does not exist.
Graphics
It is painfully obvious that the majority of the graphical horsepower went to the lighting effects. The lighting is amazing, easily the best I have ever seen. The character models on the other hand would not be out of place in a PS2 game. Do yourself a favor, and when characters are talking, try not to look at their mouths.
They did manage to make Alan's wife appear to be wearing painted on jeans, so that is a plus.
Controls
Clunky is a nice way to put it. The game demands tight control while playing on Nightmare difficulty but it will fight you. Alan turns slowly and the aiming can be very awkward, both with your flashlight and a gun. Alan is not a space marine, he is a writer, but moving *that* slow is just annoying.
Sound and Music
Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick is the soundtrack for this game amazing. Every chapter ends just as television episode would, with a closing song that accurately captures the mood. The song choice at the end of Chapter 1 is what hooked me, but it was one sequence during Chapter 4 that had the best dichotomy of music to in game action that I have witnessed in years. In fact, that moment gets its very own call out.
The Moment
Every game, no matter what genre or platform, has The Moment. That One Thing which happens and makes you sit up and go "DAMN!" Final Fantasy 7, with the murder of Aeris, is perhaps the easiest example to recognize. Alan Wake, towards the end of Chapter 4 as you're approaching an old, decrepit stage in the middle of a field....it has one of those moments. Gameplay and music meld and make you feel like you are an unstoppable force of destruction.
Achievements
Some of the collectibles in this game, such as the manuscript pages, tv shows and radio shows reveal bits about the world of Alan Wake and are worth your time to collect. TV shows, especially those that are showing "Night Springs", think The Twilight Zone, are really cool. A guide is recommended if you want all the achievements, and a second play through is mandatory, but if you skip the story completely it is a quick game.
Conclusion
Gameplay is fun and different but not for everyone as it can get old quick if the plot does not grab you around the neck like Andre the Giant. Music is amazing and an example of the right way to work it into a game. The abundance of collectibles can be daunting for achievement seekers but the real issue comes from the horrible character models and clunky controls.
The very best part of the game can not be mentioned, as that is the plot. If you are looking for something different, Alan Wake is an unique experience. It may just last you a weekend, but like a good book, you will go cover to cover.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Dante's Inferno: From AWESOME to BLAH in 3 Levels
I have tried a few times now to put my thoughts regarding Dante's Inferno into writing. An essay on how the level design is a great strength for the first two levels, and a major weakness through the backend of the game. Starting off with the very first soul you can punish or absolve is Pontius Pilate really sets the mood. By the end, you're encountering such legendary historical figures as "Merchant from Florence." If you're going to adhere to the actual epic poem, well, don't. You already have Dante wandering through Hell using Death's Scythe to cleave demons in half. "Faithfulness to source material" is a Charon that has already sailed.
Again, after writing that paragraph, I had to pause for a few minutes and do something else (reading a WWE Money in the Bank PPV recap) before continuing. I am THAT ANGRY over what a WASTED OPPORTUNITY this game is! The great moments just...run out...and by the time you get Heresy, which has no boss....at all....it's like the designers gave up. Anger is another circle that is just dull. No boss, just a series of fights while dealing with a giant demon that in turn, leads to a fairly cool moment. For five seconds. Then poor design brings it right back down to earth again.
I can not fault the graphics or the control, which is tight like the backside of Emma Watson. (She's 18 right?) The music, well that I can fault. There is not much music to be found in the depths of Hell. What little is used, serves to highlight the action on screen which is cool and all but the ambient sounds gave the Wife of Thunder (WoT) a headache.
In fact, the ambient sounds are perhaps more annoying than the seagulls from Deadliest Catch. Climbable surfaces are made of screaming souls that DO NOT SHUT UP. Some of them shout things specific to that circle, such as "I'll slit your throat and feed it to you" in the Circle of Violence. Most though, are just moanings and wailings. Nevermind the disturbing noises of the evil demonic babies with razorblade arms.
This is a game that for the first two levels, I thought was amazing. Then merely good for the next two (Gluttony and Greed), but once it hit the fifth level, Anger, I just wanted to get it over with as soon as I could. The final boss fight against Lucifer was satisfying at least. The ending? Not so much.
Is Visceral really, honestly planning on a sequel for Purgatory? I've read that poem too, and unlike the Inferno which lends itself quite well to a video game translation actually, Purgatory does not. The essence of Purgatory is that it is a place of...well...waiting. Not good, not bad, just boring.
Which sounds an awful lot like a game they already made.
Again, after writing that paragraph, I had to pause for a few minutes and do something else (reading a WWE Money in the Bank PPV recap) before continuing. I am THAT ANGRY over what a WASTED OPPORTUNITY this game is! The great moments just...run out...and by the time you get Heresy, which has no boss....at all....it's like the designers gave up. Anger is another circle that is just dull. No boss, just a series of fights while dealing with a giant demon that in turn, leads to a fairly cool moment. For five seconds. Then poor design brings it right back down to earth again.
I can not fault the graphics or the control, which is tight like the backside of Emma Watson. (She's 18 right?) The music, well that I can fault. There is not much music to be found in the depths of Hell. What little is used, serves to highlight the action on screen which is cool and all but the ambient sounds gave the Wife of Thunder (WoT) a headache.
In fact, the ambient sounds are perhaps more annoying than the seagulls from Deadliest Catch. Climbable surfaces are made of screaming souls that DO NOT SHUT UP. Some of them shout things specific to that circle, such as "I'll slit your throat and feed it to you" in the Circle of Violence. Most though, are just moanings and wailings. Nevermind the disturbing noises of the evil demonic babies with razorblade arms.
This is a game that for the first two levels, I thought was amazing. Then merely good for the next two (Gluttony and Greed), but once it hit the fifth level, Anger, I just wanted to get it over with as soon as I could. The final boss fight against Lucifer was satisfying at least. The ending? Not so much.
Is Visceral really, honestly planning on a sequel for Purgatory? I've read that poem too, and unlike the Inferno which lends itself quite well to a video game translation actually, Purgatory does not. The essence of Purgatory is that it is a place of...well...waiting. Not good, not bad, just boring.
Which sounds an awful lot like a game they already made.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Review: Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm
For starters, I need to address that cover art. First off, any game involving seamen in any way, should not be rated "Teen." Secondly, notice the two guys clinging on for dear life as the waves are tossing them around? Awesome right? Just screams "I am a man!" doesn't it? Well the game is nothing like that.
Background
To fully appreciate this putrid piece of [Gamespot] I need to explain the awesomeness that is the show, The Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel. To be honest, anything involving Mike Rowe is automatically awesome. He's like Bruce Campbell in that regard. Oh come on, you know it's true. Don't lie. You've got a man-crush on Mike Rowe.
Rawr.
Mike narrates the episodes which follow the crews of various crab fishing boats in the Bering Sea, perhaps the deadliest patch of water on Earth-2. For you non-Geography minded people, like Ms. Teen USA candidates, the Bering Sea is the body of water in the northern pacific that lies between Alaska and Russia. All those funny little islands that stretch off Alaska like a tail? Those are the Aleutian islands and they mark the region that the show(and the game) take place.
Each of the ships, there's about 5 main ones the show follows, are big on familial connections. The main ship, with regards to the game, is that of the Northwestern, captained by Sig Hansen, another manly man of a man.
Studly.What makes men like Sig so impressive, is that crab fishing for the Alaskan King crab is the most dangerous form of fishing in the world. As of 2005, for every 100,000 fishermen that head out, 300 don't make it back. 80% of those 300 died of hypothermia or drowning. None of them died by clinging onto a space shuttle.
The design team at Liquid Dragon Studios actually spent some time out on the Bering Sea with Sig Hansen aboard the Northwesternto learn what conditions had to be created for the game and how they are girly men with no hair on their chests.
When I told my wife that I got the Deadliest Catch game from Gamefly, she perked up a bit and asked if it was like the show, fighting off killer 20 foot swells, decks as slippery as an AIG executive, the worst weather in the world and a freezing, biting cold that would make a lesser man curl up in a ball and cry for his mommy.
I told her, "No, you just sail around, drop crab traps, pick them up, and then go back to harbor to sell them."
She asked why I play this crap.
I told her that some men are fit to face the worst Mother Nature has to offer, stare Death in the face and laugh. Then there's dorks like me that sneeze in direct sunlight and start to burn.
Did I put off talking about the actual game enough yet? Yes? Alright, onto the actual game!
The Menu Screen
Gets a special call out for the truly epic profile shot of the main ship captains, featuring Sig Hansen, the pinnacle of manhood, above a ship being tossed around in the sea to the tune of "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi. Best. Menu screen. Ever. In fact, keep it on this screen, because if you don't, it means you're actually experiencing the
Gameplay
Oh boy. For starters, there's a mandatory tutorial (like the one ZeroDesolation played for Command&Conquer 3) that introduces you to the basic controls and various gameplay situations. Lesson 1: The boat is slow. Lesson 2: Your crew works slow. Lesson 3: Whenever Sig pops up on the screen, he's going to verbally smack you for being a stupid girly man.
Get through the tutorial and you get to be the crab boat captain of your own vessel! Wo0t! Select a crew, buy supplies and head out into the open sea where you spend an hour laying crab traps, simming forward 2 days, then picking them up! AWESOME! Did I mention you have to wait for your crew to prep each and every trap!? No?! Well they do! No wonder the Russian boats are so much more productive, your crew needs the threat of the gulag to get motivated or something.
Sometimes, to mix things up, the weather gets bad and choppy. That's when the "seasick cam" (Named by the same guys the Medal of Honor team uses apparently), is in full effect. Your ship gets tougher to control, but that's um, about it. On harder difficulties, some crew *can* be washed overboard, but it kinda loses any dramatic effect because of:
Graphics
They suck.
Sound
What little music the game has, is actually really cool and rather mood setting. No really, it is. I know, as shocked as you are.
What really grinds my gears about the audio is the stupid seagulls. Your ship, quire realistically, is being followed at all times by a flock of seagulls, no matter how far you run away, there they are. Squawking. Constantly. It will drive you insane.
Achievements
Very do able achievement list actually, despite the fact that you have to upgrade your ship with all the...upgrades...hmm..awkward...and finish a season with your entire crew having high morale. Oh, and play an online game with 8 people in it (counting yourself). Besides those three, the list really isn't that bad. Long, boring and soul crushing, but not bad.
Don't let that fool you into thinking your man enough to tackle this game though, these rough waters? Only real men need apply. If you think have the guts and the testicular fortitude to hang with beer guzzling, cussing, roughneck bastiches, then by all means, pick this game up. Grab a copy with your man card. The one you had to turn in after Bambi's mom got shot. Wuss.
The Ninja Gaiden 2 Rap
Yo! Let's kick it
Ninja Stars baby
Ninja Stars baby
All right stop collaborate and stew
Dog is back with my brand new review
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flows like the Dragon Sword through me and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I gotta play
Turn off the lights and I'll pray
To the extreme Ryu rocks a combo like a camel
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance go rush to the combat that booms
I'm killing your brain like a hundred hit combos
Deadly when I dash a Flying Swallow
Anything less than the best and you're on the gallow
Love it or leave it you better start practicin'
You better know this game ain't playin'
If there's a problem yo you betta solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ninja Stars baby
Ninja Ninja Stars baby
Ninja Stars baby
Ninja Ninja Stars baby
Now that the party is jumping
With the bosses kicked in and the blood is flowin'
Quick to the point to the point no faking
That camera beats you like a pound of bacon
Screwing you if you ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when that sucka kills me
And forced to bust out with a souped up ninpo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' like Clint in Gran Turino
With my reflxes old so my game can blow
The girlies need not apply
Did you stop no I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next boss
Genshin is dead, he ain't a hoss
Yo so I continued to the next level
Girl came by, lookin' fly
those polygons make a man die
Jealous 'cause I'm out cutting heads
Ninja reflexes sharp, can't mess my threads
Leavin the chumps all over the walls
Because they're AI so tight you be hurtin' in the balls
Sword be stolen opening hell
I grabbed my new Talons and all I heard were yells
Splittin' spleens like Wolverine
Graphics are whack
Except for when the level's packed
Ain't no way unless I counter attack
Confronted all the dope Greater demons
Whacked them with a crowbar just like Gordon Freeman
Yo, Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it!
Ninja Stars Baby
Ninja Ninja Stars Baby
Ninja Stars Baby
Ninja Ninja Stars Baby
Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Gamplay is sweet don't you know it?
Crank up the audio, enjoy the sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like Hanzo's and Leo's
Control is slick with moves like Neo's
Conducted and formed
This is a hell of a concept
Listen to the hype and you want to step with this
Play on the fade 'n' slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast, hit like Bob Orton's Cast
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to slam
Mad ninja skills get me the key
Open the door cause I gotta flee
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ninja Stars baby
Ninja Ninja Stars baby (oh-oh!)
Ninja Stars baby
Ninja Ninja stars baby (Wave your arms!)
Yo man let's get back to the game
Word to your mother
Ninja Stars baby (Make some noise 360voice!)
Ninja Ninja Stars baby
Windmill stars baby
Have you ever seen a ninja Get Down? -- Slammin' Jammin' to the new swing sound
Yeah, everybody let's move -- Dog is here with the New Jack Groove
Gonna rock, and roll this place -- With the power of the ninja bass
Doggie, ya know I'm not playin' -- Devistate the show while the ninjas are sayin:
Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO
Lyrics, fill in the gap -- Drop that bass and get the NINJA RAP
Feel it, if you know what I mean -- Give it up for those heroes
Just flowin, smooth with the power -- Kickin' it up, hour after hour
Cause in this life there's only one winner -- You better aim good so you can hit the center
In it to win it, with an army of one -- Ninja that you gotta adore it's the:
Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO
Villains, you better run and hide -- Because one day you might not slide
Choose your weapon but don't slip --Dog's in control with the flex of the mic grip
Rockin' the crowd the way it should be rocked -- With the Miami drop that you like alot
Hittin like a Ninja when the bass kicks in -- You better check your level
The power of the Ninja is strong -- Fightin' all the crooks until they're all out cold
Go Ninja Go Ninja Go!
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