The Best Things In Life Are Free....Right? RIGHT?
See? I've already put this game in perspective! Doritos Dash of Destruction: More Fun Then Being Stomped On The Nuts! Thankfully, this game is 10 lbs. of awesome in a 5 liter bag, so really, you'll enjoy yourself anyways! Before I dig into the substantial meat of this game, some background information on the years of blood and sweat that went into making this masterpiece, this shining pinnacle of gameplay that shall stand as an avatar of the XBLA for all to worship.
Background
Doritos had a contest in 2007 called "Unlock Xbox" in which gamers could submit ideas to Doritos and the finalist would be made into demos courtesy of Ninja Bee (The Cloning Clyde, Kingdoms for Keflings, Band of Bugs people). From October 29th 2007 to November 18th 2007, gamers could play the demos and vote on their favorites. The winner? A game submitted by Mike Borland: Dash of Destruction.
Mike's prize was getting to work with Ninja Bee to get a full fledged XBLA game out of his concept. Originally supposed to be released in the summer of 2008, it was pushed back to December 18th, 2008. Reasons for this delay range from Jonathan Blow complaining that Dash of destruction would overshadow the release of his opus (which is Latin for "only quality game one will produce in their lifetime"), Braid but others speculate that Capcom pushed for the delay so that its release of Bionic Commando: Re-Armed would not go unnoticed beneath 20 tons of steel jawed T-Rex.
Plot
You have two separate stories to choose from, which is one more then games such as Lost Odyssey or Final Fantasy X. You can choose to be a delivery truck driver tasked with collecting Doritos from points around the city, not unlike the quest system in World of Warcraft. Or even better, you can be a twenty ton Tyrannosaurus Rex who's only job is to eat the delivery truck and presumably, the delivery truck driver. For the record, that's a more substantial plot then WarTech: Senko No Ronde. More choices then Lost Odyssey and more logic then WarTech? Score 2 for Dash of Destruction!
Gameplay
As the truck, you just zip around the city, dodging the T-Rex, beating your rivals to Doritos and surviving. It's simple, it's addictive, and by the time the game finally ends, you'll be wanting more. Admit it. 5 levels is just not enough. You really could've gone for 10 more levels right? Now compare that to X-Blades, which is a game that I could've gone with 10 *less* levels. A minimalist approach to game design is truly being ahead of the times. Bravo Ninja Bee. Bravo.
Oh but wait! There is more! You get to BE the T-Rex! Hunt down the delivery truck once it gets hung up on the pond/lake/blue graphic thingie and you get a point. Eat enough trucks before your rival T-Rex and you move on to the next level. Word on the internets is that you can unlock a secret cow level in this campaign. Not that you need it, since after each level your T-Rex gets upgraded so you go from this:
To This:
Now that's one bad muthatrucka.
Control
This game must take place in Canada, or given the creator, the frozen tundra of Pennsylvania, since the roads are ice slick. You'll slip and slide, but thankfully the controls accurately recreate this dangerous, hard to manage situations. The drama is only heightened as you can stop on a dime, provided that dime is 12 feet ahead of you and slightly to the right, no, the other right.
The Bad MuthaTrucka controls much the same, since it is made up of wrecked Doritos Delivery trucks. Everything moves along these icy, hazardous roads, so the playing field is level and it takes all your skill to out maneuver your target. Or get them pinned against the frozen lake/pond/blue graphic thingie representing one of the four natural elements and eat them that way. It's strategy really, more then that involved in Star Trek: Legacy. Score more for Dash of Destruction!
Achievements
You need a second controller for all of them, since there is only local multiplayer. Mike was going to include online multiplayer, but Cliffy B threw a hissy fit, saying something about how now no one would play
You get achievements simply for story progression, which makes this game better then The Last Remnant.
Wrap Up
It's free, it has more choice then Lost Odyssey, better achievements then The Last Remnant, and you get to relive all the greatest delivery truck moments from The King of Queens.
And finally, you get to get to play as one bad muthatrucka.
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